People have been trying to comfort me. Trying to ask me to stop thinking. I been doing that too. I really really tried but it don't work on me. It only last for a week. After that, i will go back to square one!! I don't cry easily. Nothing can make me cry. I don't ever drop a tear when my uncle pass away. Now, even television show also can make me cry anytime. i showing sign of weakness!!

Msn her, trying my usual way again. I know the outcome but still want to try. I know all the reason and the answer and the explanation but still want to try. I ask her to ignore me from now on. She feel that by replying my sms is showing a form of hope to me. To me, is 20% yes and 80% no. Never mind, crying is a form of destressing.

My mother asked me to go genting with them on the 15th may. At first, I say ok!! Yesterday, I told her, I don't wish to go. My plan was to see if she is free and get her to go out. I still trying stupid things when JY and CHNG telling me to stop and there is no chance anymore. Is a forever thing. I know that. I really know! I just can't control myself. The only person who can control is CHNG but I do not wish to get scolding from her everytime and I don't like to 'ma fan' others about my things. Haiz!! No one will watch disney related movie anymore. Worst of all, kungfu panda 2 is coming. I planned to watch it with her. I shall just buy 2 ticket and keep.

I know is stupid and childish and immature and foolish. This is the way of my life. My uncontrol emotion driving me nuts. I can only do foolish things now. Still hoping things will go back to it use to be. I will then communicate with you. truefully.

Never your friend or anyone from now on. Sign Out!!