I de-activate my Facebook account. I been wanting to do that but just now decided to make it happen. I think this will be my last entry for now. I got the feeling of crying now. Before i de-activate the account, I downloaded some picture that I hope to keep. Looking through all the photo, remind me of her. From the time of my army, to out first date, to my 21st birthday, to her 21st birthday, to celebration and many more. While viewing, tears just roll down to my mouth.
Tomorrow meeting her. I hope I not going to give her pressure. I will try not to ask any question. I still don't think we can be friend. I cannot bear to see her in other guys arms in the future. I should be like what you say, sooner or late, we won't contact eact other. Try not to go around and talk about me. I will try to avoid you in anyway. Our time is up. So sorry to let you have such a bad memories. I going to give this song to you.
嚴爵 - 我喜歡，不我愛
作詞：嚴爵 作曲：嚴爵
我喜歡你的眼 看著我的眼
我喜歡你的臉 貼著我的臉
我喜歡你的手 牽著我的手
我喜歡你的口 吻著我的口
時間在改變 你不要改變
因爲我很愛你 不想要你放棄愛情
友情這段得來不易
我愛你 真的是很愛你 所以想
就這樣繼續愛下去
時間在改變 你不要改變
因爲我很愛你 不想要你放棄愛情
友情這段得來不易
我愛你 真的是很愛你 所以想
就這樣繼續愛下去
因爲我很愛你 不想要你放棄愛情
友情這段得來不易
我愛你 真的是很愛你 所以想
就這樣繼續愛下去
因爲我很愛你 不想要你放棄愛情
友情這段得來不易
我愛你 真的是很愛你 所以想
就這樣繼續愛下去
for the benefit of people who don't know how to read chinese, this song is telling the person how he/she love that person. No matter how a person is like, it change due to the enviroment that is around. Hoping that person won't change after everything that happen. Loving the person is not easy, that why loved!! Hope the love will be on going.
Hope tonight going to be the last time I cry. 2 drop of tears roll down again. Thanks you and sorry. Seriously love you. Will wait in my little corner.
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Yes!! I meeting her soon. I don't know why but I got a feeling that things won't work well. I really scare.
my brother-in-law's grandpa told me this, don't think too muhc, keep all your concentration to things you are doing now. Than he told me about his love story. I miss her. Really miss her. I am kinda slow, seriously slow. nothings I can do to make up to you and get you back? Maybe not now?
最浪漫的事曲：李正 詞：姚若龍 編：
背靠著背坐在地毯上
聽聽音樂聊聊願望
你希望我越來越溫柔
我希望你放我在心上
你說想送我個浪漫的夢想
謝謝我帶你找到天堂
哪怕用一輩子才能完成
只要我講你就記住不忘
我能想到最浪漫的事
就是和你一起慢慢變老
一路上收藏點點滴滴的歡笑
留到以後坐著搖椅慢慢聊
我能想到最浪漫的事
就是和你一起慢慢變老
直到我們老得哪兒也去不了
你還依然把我當成手心裡的寶
A song that show what is the most romanic things I can do and tell you. I will do that if I have a chance.
my brother-in-law's grandpa told me this, don't think too muhc, keep all your concentration to things you are doing now. Than he told me about his love story. I miss her. Really miss her. I am kinda slow, seriously slow. nothings I can do to make up to you and get you back? Maybe not now?
最浪漫的事曲：李正 詞：姚若龍 編：
背靠著背坐在地毯上
聽聽音樂聊聊願望
你希望我越來越溫柔
我希望你放我在心上
你說想送我個浪漫的夢想
謝謝我帶你找到天堂
哪怕用一輩子才能完成
只要我講你就記住不忘
我能想到最浪漫的事
就是和你一起慢慢變老
一路上收藏點點滴滴的歡笑
留到以後坐著搖椅慢慢聊
我能想到最浪漫的事
就是和你一起慢慢變老
直到我們老得哪兒也去不了
你還依然把我當成手心裡的寶
A song that show what is the most romanic things I can do and tell you. I will do that if I have a chance.
Saturday, March 26, 2011
Got chance to talk to her today. I never thought that she will call me. I know is not possible but finally, we are meeting up soon. I think you will know what I want to ask but I scare you will get irritated with me. I know you still care for me but is it love? I don't want to make assumption.
My sister's wedding coming. I really really hope you can attend. I really know how you feel but I want to see you in nightgown standing in front of me. I alway look for a time where to take picture with you. I don't like random shots, I look for occassion. I hope to take a picture with you when I wearing a suit.
I don't know I can treat you as normal friend a not. Think I don't talk too much. Let see what will happen on the coming meeting with you. I hope is not as I think it will turn out.
Oh yah, think my parent trying to do something with me. Got me up early in the morning to ask me "pei" them for breakfast and don't want to talk to me. I think they trying to let me relax. Thanks!!!! I will figure out what I want and what to do soon.
My sister's wedding coming. I really really hope you can attend. I really know how you feel but I want to see you in nightgown standing in front of me. I alway look for a time where to take picture with you. I don't like random shots, I look for occassion. I hope to take a picture with you when I wearing a suit.
I don't know I can treat you as normal friend a not. Think I don't talk too much. Let see what will happen on the coming meeting with you. I hope is not as I think it will turn out.
Oh yah, think my parent trying to do something with me. Got me up early in the morning to ask me "pei" them for breakfast and don't want to talk to me. I think they trying to let me relax. Thanks!!!! I will figure out what I want and what to do soon.
Friday, March 25, 2011
Got to know, my friend and the girlfriend trying something out after their breakup. They went out during last Sunday. I wonder why I have that problem going out with you. Other friends or mine, scold him stupid but for me, I admire him for doing that. I wonder why I cannot do the same things? May I date you?
I sms her this morning. I thought she will send me a reply, but I got no reply from her. Never mind, I told her not to contact me. I even wonder is she have change her number without leting me know. It's okay if you do that, just need to know you are doing well. I quite worry for her not replying my msg. I keep telling myself that she is busy, she is working, she listen to what I say by not contacting me. I find a lot of excuse to keep me off thinking her reply. Until my shifu, she ask me, when am I going to get married? I start turning emotional again. I replied, I won't get marry unless the partner is her. I not giving you pressure, trust me. I don't mind spending my time waiting for you.
Got a good news, I found out that people around me think that I am a good catch if they want to get a husband. 2 person from my shop have same idea. Do you? hmm.. :)
Can I meet you on 3rd april at 12pm. Let go out relax yourself due to the stress you been handling? I will fetch you. I trying my luck on dating you out. I know there is a high chance you will reject me and find an excuse to make me feel better. I am fine with it. I think you know how to contact me or acknowledge me if you going to accept my date. If there is no reply, I will wait till I see you that day. I promise I won't go up your house or do anything. I will just wait quietly.
I sms her this morning. I thought she will send me a reply, but I got no reply from her. Never mind, I told her not to contact me. I even wonder is she have change her number without leting me know. It's okay if you do that, just need to know you are doing well. I quite worry for her not replying my msg. I keep telling myself that she is busy, she is working, she listen to what I say by not contacting me. I find a lot of excuse to keep me off thinking her reply. Until my shifu, she ask me, when am I going to get married? I start turning emotional again. I replied, I won't get marry unless the partner is her. I not giving you pressure, trust me. I don't mind spending my time waiting for you.
Got a good news, I found out that people around me think that I am a good catch if they want to get a husband. 2 person from my shop have same idea. Do you? hmm.. :)
Can I meet you on 3rd april at 12pm. Let go out relax yourself due to the stress you been handling? I will fetch you. I trying my luck on dating you out. I know there is a high chance you will reject me and find an excuse to make me feel better. I am fine with it. I think you know how to contact me or acknowledge me if you going to accept my date. If there is no reply, I will wait till I see you that day. I promise I won't go up your house or do anything. I will just wait quietly.
Thursday, March 24, 2011
没你帮我带路，我哪能好好的过？叫我不要想你，哪有那可能？我们是如何走过这岁月，你不把它当一回是吗？我的改变是为了配合你的生活，配合你的家庭。不能不想，不能不哭。离开是我不想做的选择。我是想不认你为难而做的决定。我想认你好好的面对你妈妈认后，在次和你在来过。没想到，你放起了我，放起这感情。我不要把这感情认于回忆。我们还有很多事没做，很多计划没完成。我不想过一个没有你的生活。
我知道现在的你过得很好。你能回想我们做过的事吗？请你不要认我在次失望。我知道我辜负你，但那不会在发生了。我请求你给我那机会。我真不知道我能在忍耐多久，我整个人可能在也控制不了了。真没机会了吗？我看我只能每天以泪洗脸，认我入眠。
对不起，我无法再忍耐了。我没办法现在只能哭。
我知道现在的你过得很好。你能回想我们做过的事吗？请你不要认我在次失望。我知道我辜负你，但那不会在发生了。我请求你给我那机会。我真不知道我能在忍耐多久，我整个人可能在也控制不了了。真没机会了吗？我看我只能每天以泪洗脸，认我入眠。
对不起，我无法再忍耐了。我没办法现在只能哭。
Another day that I keep thinking of her. No matter what I do, her imagine will always be there. I cannot change the fact that she left me. I still keep her in mind. my friend ask me, do you still think of her? You still keep her item? I just tell my friend, the ring is in my wallet all this while. My friend ask again, what if the wallet lost? I reply, I will cry on the spot.
I am a person with lot of plans. I know what I want and what I hope to have but when come to emotion and expression, I am hopeless. The thinking of dating her out and asking her to be my girlfriend once again have not tide down. I really hope the two things will happen.
You still missing me? Keeping me in mind? If you are, please let me know by giving me a chance to date you again. From the picture I see, you been going out with friends. You want to do something to keep your mind out of me? Or you are enjoying yourself now? I been asking you out of a few times and rejected me that many times. Your friend ask you out, you join them. I not blaming on you but can I have the same privilege? I can feel the avoiding and the hiding. I dare not say you still have 100% feeling for me but I know you still have feeling for me. I really love you. The greatest regret is letting you go. I think you will find this naggy soon. I have been doing this awhile. What can I do now? Or may I say, can you do something to me?
I am a person with lot of plans. I know what I want and what I hope to have but when come to emotion and expression, I am hopeless. The thinking of dating her out and asking her to be my girlfriend once again have not tide down. I really hope the two things will happen.
You still missing me? Keeping me in mind? If you are, please let me know by giving me a chance to date you again. From the picture I see, you been going out with friends. You want to do something to keep your mind out of me? Or you are enjoying yourself now? I been asking you out of a few times and rejected me that many times. Your friend ask you out, you join them. I not blaming on you but can I have the same privilege? I can feel the avoiding and the hiding. I dare not say you still have 100% feeling for me but I know you still have feeling for me. I really love you. The greatest regret is letting you go. I think you will find this naggy soon. I have been doing this awhile. What can I do now? Or may I say, can you do something to me?
爱情从来不会是个如水流一样的顺流。在河里，凡是都会有小石头或一些阻碍。只要有毅力，没有事情是不能解决的。
我从来都没想过我们会有那么一天会如此的遥远。我不敢说我用100%的心去爱你但我从来没把你忘了。到今天，我还是想着你。我真的想念你的撒娇，你的温柔，你的一切。我真希望你是那位走上我布置的红地毯。我真希望我能带给你一个美满的家庭。我真的希望你会是我孩子口中的妈妈。但，我的希望可能不会在实现了。它会是一个回忆或一个定局，只有命运会知道。我真后悔听你妈妈的话。我真希望我们能从新在来。这次，我不会在放手了。我不会完全听你的，但我已经做好改变的心了。请在次的相信我，在次的把你的手和心，交给我。让你离开是我最大的遗憾。希望你回来。
真心爱你的我。
我从来都没想过我们会有那么一天会如此的遥远。我不敢说我用100%的心去爱你但我从来没把你忘了。到今天，我还是想着你。我真的想念你的撒娇，你的温柔，你的一切。我真希望你是那位走上我布置的红地毯。我真希望我能带给你一个美满的家庭。我真的希望你会是我孩子口中的妈妈。但，我的希望可能不会在实现了。它会是一个回忆或一个定局，只有命运会知道。我真后悔听你妈妈的话。我真希望我们能从新在来。这次，我不会在放手了。我不会完全听你的，但我已经做好改变的心了。请在次的相信我，在次的把你的手和心，交给我。让你离开是我最大的遗憾。希望你回来。
真心爱你的我。
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
got a bad news dream again. I hope it won't happen. I dreamt of her having a bf again. She telling me that she is getting use to her new bf. How can I ever step out of it? If I can just have you in my arm, I will be the most happiest man. I found this sentence on twitter. Boy tell his gal this, "The next girl I'll ever love on this earth is our DAUGHTER." I really want to tell you this. This sentence is in my mind for while before I found it on twitter. Go out with me? You got nothing to lose beside your time.
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
oh mine!!! I found out that I can't take seafood from now on. My favourite sotong, is a killer for my illness. Haiz!!
When I going home from NPCC training, I felt so lonely. I alight from the bus, walking up the bridge with a limping leg. Then, I hear this song from my PSP, which is sang by S.H.E. I felt so lonely and helpless. The first person come to my mine is you. So, I walk in a heavy limping dragging foot step. Across the road. I really felt sad and lonely. Blaming myself for not treating her good. I got the mind of wooing her again. Though I find it useless, I still think of her. I am so stupid.
My parent going Malaysia for a day on 3th April. I going to get off and maybe walk around in town. I really really hope, I can date you out for a movie and let me enjoy a day with you again. What am I thinking!!! Haiz!! I still remember that you don't like the song "Lonely" by Akon!! HAHAHAhahahahaha..............................
When I going home from NPCC training, I felt so lonely. I alight from the bus, walking up the bridge with a limping leg. Then, I hear this song from my PSP, which is sang by S.H.E. I felt so lonely and helpless. The first person come to my mine is you. So, I walk in a heavy limping dragging foot step. Across the road. I really felt sad and lonely. Blaming myself for not treating her good. I got the mind of wooing her again. Though I find it useless, I still think of her. I am so stupid.
My parent going Malaysia for a day on 3th April. I going to get off and maybe walk around in town. I really really hope, I can date you out for a movie and let me enjoy a day with you again. What am I thinking!!! Haiz!! I still remember that you don't like the song "Lonely" by Akon!! HAHAHAhahahahaha..............................
The pain is still there. I cannot bend my toes. When I see your picture on facebook, I seem happy. Seeing you smiling like use to be, I am delighted. How I wish I can take picture with you again. I think I don't talk already. I need to ease the pain.
Oh yah, I didn't know that she like small pig and she like going concert. Haiz!!! I love you. I don't know you can feel it anot but I still care and love you. Wishing to have our own family with you. Yah, going emotional again!!!
Oh yah, I didn't know that she like small pig and she like going concert. Haiz!!! I love you. I don't know you can feel it anot but I still care and love you. Wishing to have our own family with you. Yah, going emotional again!!!
Monday, March 21, 2011
Went for Reece today. Went Tree Top Park and found out that the road is under maintenance. So, we have to go back another day to check the safety of the road. After the Reece, went to have lunch at Pizza Hut. I ate Curry Zazzle set meal which cost about $7.90. When I step into the restaurant, reminded of her. Having dinner with her at Pizza Hut before. All the memories starts coming back when I don't want to think of it. After the lunch, went for movie. Haven't been into cinema after we broke up. I bought my favourite, Nacho Cheese. Let me think of her again. Reminded me of she complaining she want to eat Nacho Cheese and snatching from me. :)
Watch "Rango". I hope I got the chance to date her when Kungfu Panda 2 is out. Went back to have dinner after the movie. During the lunch at Pizza Hut, My toes is in pain and I don't know why. When I got home, Told my father about it. Realise I got "Gout". Is a Rich-man disease which I found the name in yahoo. I am seriously dead. Is not a deadly disease but is something that will haunt me for the rest of my life. Now my toes is in pain and my inner thigh is also in pain due to the cold weather. I hope the pain will go off by tomorrow morning. The pain is not unbearable but is uncomfortable. I can't move a inch of my toes if not, the pain will kill me. I read the cure for it. I need to look out for my diet. Cannot stand too long, Stop taking beans or purine stuff. It will be hard for me but I will try, like how I try to forget her.
I think of her a lot this few days. Thinking the guy is getting nearer to her. I think if I see her, I will burst into tears in a second. Either let me forget her or let her come back to me. Haiz, choice that is both hard for me to go through now. Wish you luck in everything. Please update your blog. I really hope to know what you are doing. Be it busy or what, I hope to see new post and all. Pray to my god for the well being of you, your happiness.
Watch "Rango". I hope I got the chance to date her when Kungfu Panda 2 is out. Went back to have dinner after the movie. During the lunch at Pizza Hut, My toes is in pain and I don't know why. When I got home, Told my father about it. Realise I got "Gout". Is a Rich-man disease which I found the name in yahoo. I am seriously dead. Is not a deadly disease but is something that will haunt me for the rest of my life. Now my toes is in pain and my inner thigh is also in pain due to the cold weather. I hope the pain will go off by tomorrow morning. The pain is not unbearable but is uncomfortable. I can't move a inch of my toes if not, the pain will kill me. I read the cure for it. I need to look out for my diet. Cannot stand too long, Stop taking beans or purine stuff. It will be hard for me but I will try, like how I try to forget her.
I think of her a lot this few days. Thinking the guy is getting nearer to her. I think if I see her, I will burst into tears in a second. Either let me forget her or let her come back to me. Haiz, choice that is both hard for me to go through now. Wish you luck in everything. Please update your blog. I really hope to know what you are doing. Be it busy or what, I hope to see new post and all. Pray to my god for the well being of you, your happiness.
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Got a lot of things to pack. Got to pack my things again. Saw a bag of belt in the way, open up to see whose is it. Realise is mine. Belt that she bought for me. Missing her again. Getting myself emotional again. Keeping quiet for the whole day. Thinking of her, scare that soemone is wooing her, scare that she going to get a boyfriend soon, really scared!!!! By the way, should I thanks my sister for letting us pack the house. This can help me in keeping her things away or should I be angry because I got to see all her things again!!! I hope I really can go out with you. A silent date also fine but to you, what is the point!!! Saded!!! Let me think of you today to keep my asleep. Love!!
Saturday, March 19, 2011
Sorry That I Loved You
词：倪安东/Skot suyimi(中译/陶晶莹) 曲：Skot Suyimi
For all of the time that i tried for your smile
For making you think that i was worth the while
So your love love love love love would be mine
For sending you flowers and holding your hand
That no one was there to take a stand
But then love love love made us blind
And I'm so sorry that I hurt you
Sorry that I fell through
Sorry i was falling in love with you
I'm sorry that it came true
But sorry doesn't turn back time
For all that i have done to you
I wish that i could make it right
So sorry that i loved you
Sorry that i needed you
Sorry that i hold you tight
And I'm So sorry for...
Making you love me and saying goodbye
For being the one that taught you how to cry
It was love love love and it passed us by
For giving you every thing that you dreamed
For taking it back when i fled the scene
sorry love,for wasting your time
And I'm so sorry that I hurt you
Sorry that I fell through
Sorry i was falling in love with you
I'm sorry that it came true
But sorry doesn't turn back time
For all that i have done to you
I wish that i could make it right
I'm so sorry that i loved you
Sorry that i needed you
Sorry that i hold you tight
And apology now after all of this time
Won't make my difference tonight
But I'm hoping I'm Sorry will open your mind
To love love love love in your life
Sorry that i hurt you
Sorry that i fell through
Sorry i was falling in love with you
I'm sorry that it came true
But sorry doesn't turn back time
For all that i have done to you
I wish that i could make it right
So sorry that i hurt you
Sorry that i fell through
Sorry i was falling in love with you
I'm sorry that it came true
But sorry do can't turn back time
I'm sorry that i loved you
I'm sorry that i hurt you
I'm so sorry that i loved you
I'm sorry that i hurt you
Sorry that i loved you
词：倪安东/Skot suyimi(中译/陶晶莹) 曲：Skot Suyimi
For all of the time that i tried for your smile
For making you think that i was worth the while
So your love love love love love would be mine
For sending you flowers and holding your hand
That no one was there to take a stand
But then love love love made us blind
And I'm so sorry that I hurt you
Sorry that I fell through
Sorry i was falling in love with you
I'm sorry that it came true
But sorry doesn't turn back time
For all that i have done to you
I wish that i could make it right
So sorry that i loved you
Sorry that i needed you
Sorry that i hold you tight
And I'm So sorry for...
Making you love me and saying goodbye
For being the one that taught you how to cry
It was love love love and it passed us by
For giving you every thing that you dreamed
For taking it back when i fled the scene
sorry love,for wasting your time
And I'm so sorry that I hurt you
Sorry that I fell through
Sorry i was falling in love with you
I'm sorry that it came true
But sorry doesn't turn back time
For all that i have done to you
I wish that i could make it right
I'm so sorry that i loved you
Sorry that i needed you
Sorry that i hold you tight
And apology now after all of this time
Won't make my difference tonight
But I'm hoping I'm Sorry will open your mind
To love love love love in your life
Sorry that i hurt you
Sorry that i fell through
Sorry i was falling in love with you
I'm sorry that it came true
But sorry doesn't turn back time
For all that i have done to you
I wish that i could make it right
So sorry that i hurt you
Sorry that i fell through
Sorry i was falling in love with you
I'm sorry that it came true
But sorry do can't turn back time
I'm sorry that i loved you
I'm sorry that i hurt you
I'm so sorry that i loved you
I'm sorry that i hurt you
Sorry that i loved you
Today, wake up with some headache and having a lot of msg about NPCC. After settling the problem, have my breakfast than start packing my house again. Folding my clothes and pants. Found out that she really bought a lot of clothes for me. I was folding it properly. I promise myself, from now on, I going to wear every single clothes that she bought for me. This been the 4th day of not contacting you. It is suffering for me. Do you? I don't know what am I thinking about. I still want a date with you. I thought of doing this. Put a time and date here and on that day, wait for you to come. I find it stupid. I wonder, what if you don't come or you didn't got a chance to read it or what if you come, what will I do? Never mind la. Asked her not to contact me anymore. Have to bare with it. Let it be ba!!
Still thinking of you coming back to me!!
Still thinking of you coming back to me!!
Friday, March 18, 2011
Was damn so tire. Did alot of things in the camp. haven't have enough slp but had never miss the period of missing her. I regret for saying something hurtful to her but I really have to step out of it. Trying to hate her to the fullest, which is impossible. Trying not to contact her at all. I wish she will still come back to me but I really know and realise that is impossible. I still love you.
If I have a last sentence to say to this world, I will say I love you. If I need to put a limit to that sentence, I will put a 10000 years. My birthday wish from now on, is wishing you have a good and happy life. Hmm...think I am really useless, thought I am very tire to cry, but the tear just roll down without my control!!!!
If I have a last sentence to say to this world, I will say I love you. If I need to put a limit to that sentence, I will put a 10000 years. My birthday wish from now on, is wishing you have a good and happy life. Hmm...think I am really useless, thought I am very tire to cry, but the tear just roll down without my control!!!!
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Now regret of not paying enough attention to her. Making plans that suit me. Thinking that she won't leave me. Been begging for her to come back to me. She stand firm!! I am sure people around me will tell me this, "Jing Xian, give her time to think. She is tire, let her rest and concentrate on her studies."
Yah, I will let her study and me, I will fucking fail everything!! I cannot concentrate you people know? Trying the best of me not to think. Been 3 month and I am still surviving in this emotion. Trying all method that I asked to stop thinking of her for 1 millisecond. Nothing can work. Trying to go out with friend, getting myself busy, get some distraction. ALL ARE BULL SHIT!!! FUCK ALL SHIT!!
I lower my pride, begging you to come back. Do you know that? Do you want me to go your house do something stupid and beg for your YES???? How much do you want me to suffer? You know I care, you know my love towards you. Why can't you just let me walk into your heart again? I have never imagine this happening to me and you. Someone enlighten me please. I seriously will have spilt personality soon and I am going crazy!! Please please, I seriously need your comfort. I cannot take the heart to hate you. All your hurtful words will really make me hurt but will make me more wanting to get you back. Please let be together again!! FUCK CAN YOU STOP THE TAP FROM FLOWING?? HOW OLD ARE YOU ALREADY?? FUCKING TAKE A KNIFE AND POKE YOUR EYE. SHE WON'T SHOW CONCERN.
Yah, I will let her study and me, I will fucking fail everything!! I cannot concentrate you people know? Trying the best of me not to think. Been 3 month and I am still surviving in this emotion. Trying all method that I asked to stop thinking of her for 1 millisecond. Nothing can work. Trying to go out with friend, getting myself busy, get some distraction. ALL ARE BULL SHIT!!! FUCK ALL SHIT!!
I lower my pride, begging you to come back. Do you know that? Do you want me to go your house do something stupid and beg for your YES???? How much do you want me to suffer? You know I care, you know my love towards you. Why can't you just let me walk into your heart again? I have never imagine this happening to me and you. Someone enlighten me please. I seriously will have spilt personality soon and I am going crazy!! Please please, I seriously need your comfort. I cannot take the heart to hate you. All your hurtful words will really make me hurt but will make me more wanting to get you back. Please let be together again!! FUCK CAN YOU STOP THE TAP FROM FLOWING?? HOW OLD ARE YOU ALREADY?? FUCKING TAKE A KNIFE AND POKE YOUR EYE. SHE WON'T SHOW CONCERN.
Busy the whole day while thinking of her. I love you, that is what i can do now. Wake up, went to have breakfast in the morning with my parent. Promise them to check out the wardrobe with them at the furniture shop near my house. Found the wardrobe that is ideal but the length is not suitable for the room. While thinking of the placement of the new wardrobe, hoping to share my new space with her. showing her my design of the new-look room.
Went to unit to pack the room and logistic for the coming camp. Still thinking if I can slim down to make her happy. busying with the things and thinking how to talk to her with new topic. At the same time, don't know how to survive in the coming camp for not hearing her voice and her complain.
Went work after that, trying to use my method to make her smile when we are together to a philipino girl. Did alot and think of her alot too. Trying my best to walk my way to her hear again.
Went MR TEH TARIK for supper with peeps. Thinking about her too. Thinking of things that we plan to do at night. There are alot of night life that we plan but cannot be come true. Will work for it.
I can guarantee the things you need. Walk back to me, we can start anew. everything will not be the same. I can be your ideal boyfriend!! I just cannot lose you. You are really made for me. LOVEs.....
Went to unit to pack the room and logistic for the coming camp. Still thinking if I can slim down to make her happy. busying with the things and thinking how to talk to her with new topic. At the same time, don't know how to survive in the coming camp for not hearing her voice and her complain.
Went work after that, trying to use my method to make her smile when we are together to a philipino girl. Did alot and think of her alot too. Trying my best to walk my way to her hear again.
Went MR TEH TARIK for supper with peeps. Thinking about her too. Thinking of things that we plan to do at night. There are alot of night life that we plan but cannot be come true. Will work for it.
I can guarantee the things you need. Walk back to me, we can start anew. everything will not be the same. I can be your ideal boyfriend!! I just cannot lose you. You are really made for me. LOVEs.....
Sunday, March 13, 2011
Trying to talk to her today. Think become a fight than a talk. I know I cross the border. I shouldn't do this and that but i was too impatient and was too excited. I ask her to be my gf once again for 24 hours. She say she is tempted to do so but she didn't want to. I ask her rather come back to me. She say, I will pamper her more than usual. I became emotional again. I know I shouldn't ask all the question but I can't control. I really love her. She say she want to concentrate on her studies first, I can understand. I feel bad when I pick on all her words. I just want her to tell me, YES, I want to go back with you but this may not be the time. Will you wait for me? I will feel really really happy if she say that.
I feel like a hurricane hit when she break the news of breaking. It make my world so messy, when I am still recovering from all the news and sadness, the tsunami hits. The messiness been wash all the way down to the bottom.
I took out the watch that she buy for me when I am 21st. I bleed internally when taking out the watch. What I can do now is to stop activity of her. It is not a peaceful thing for me. I of cos wish that we can be together. You think being carefree now is good for you, I can only support you by respecting your decision. I will alway stand by you although I am not at ur sight.
I feel like a hurricane hit when she break the news of breaking. It make my world so messy, when I am still recovering from all the news and sadness, the tsunami hits. The messiness been wash all the way down to the bottom.
I took out the watch that she buy for me when I am 21st. I bleed internally when taking out the watch. What I can do now is to stop activity of her. It is not a peaceful thing for me. I of cos wish that we can be together. You think being carefree now is good for you, I can only support you by respecting your decision. I will alway stand by you although I am not at ur sight.
Just pack my room and I got my own space now. Just reply her msg on facebook. I still can't get over it. I am still not moving on. Why am I sitting down here telling all this. I also don't know. I can't get it why she is so cool and calm. Never thought of she leaving me. Never thought breakup upon me and her. Vision of us in a happy family. People treasures somethings when they lose them. I been treasuring you in my way. Come back to me!!
Why you sound so happy in your facebook? Getting me out in your picture is a good thing? You think your mother decision is correct? I dunno la!! Someone just shoot me and let me die.
Why you sound so happy in your facebook? Getting me out in your picture is a good thing? You think your mother decision is correct? I dunno la!! Someone just shoot me and let me die.
Saturday, March 12, 2011
Got to blog about the gang of Samous Amos who work for me today. Ordering Golden Pillow for some sort of celebration. Spending $32.75 for the 2 pillow. Great taste, having fun with the small gang. Talking about a trip to Universal Studio and thought of asking the full timer and manager to work during the day of the our trip. Plan to ask Xueli, ChirFang, Wendy and Sun Wei to work. The rest go for relaxation trip due to breaks up and pressure by external force. Talk and talk, getting the shop so messy. Getting myself so work up!!! Did I enjoy today? I have to answer YES!! If not, there will be complain around when I go back work. By the way, got my wallpaper into slide show of me and her, listening to song "Without You" by Mariah Carey. Been asked on movie of the month. I haven't enter Golden Village website for awhile. She is not going to watch movie with me anymore. No point going to that website. Applying SAFRA Card to enjoy lifetime discount for movie ticket. Now, it will just rot in a corner, growing more and more spiderweb.
Friday, March 11, 2011
Another day of emotional day. Working while thinking of you. 4 years!!! Nothing have change since then. Talk to my mother today and told her all the things. She commented on some unhappy remarks.
Nothing will be normal since you left me. Giving up on me. Get to move on without my needs. I will suffer till the end of my lovely life. Being part of me for awhile. Without the pestering and complaining, I not use to it. I will never get use to it. I just want you to come back to me as a girlfriend. A girlfriend that take care of me. A girlfriend that I will say "I love you". A girlfriend that I will ask "Will you marry me". A girlfriend that I will cry for and hope to see. A wife that will carry on my family line. You are the only one. I am not going to open my heart to anyone else. That's for sure. Just come back to me and stop my mind go wild without you. Please come back. If it take me to shorten my life, I will give up my life to wish for your hand, arms and mind to me. If you give the green light, I willingly to woo you again, letting you feel the different love I can give. A me that will change for you to realise how much I love you. I willing to do anything for you beside letting go.
Nothing will be normal since you left me. Giving up on me. Get to move on without my needs. I will suffer till the end of my lovely life. Being part of me for awhile. Without the pestering and complaining, I not use to it. I will never get use to it. I just want you to come back to me as a girlfriend. A girlfriend that take care of me. A girlfriend that I will say "I love you". A girlfriend that I will ask "Will you marry me". A girlfriend that I will cry for and hope to see. A wife that will carry on my family line. You are the only one. I am not going to open my heart to anyone else. That's for sure. Just come back to me and stop my mind go wild without you. Please come back. If it take me to shorten my life, I will give up my life to wish for your hand, arms and mind to me. If you give the green light, I willingly to woo you again, letting you feel the different love I can give. A me that will change for you to realise how much I love you. I willing to do anything for you beside letting go.
終於說出口
詞：宋念宇 黃文萱 曲：宋念宇 編曲：宋念宇 製作：陳偉
你終於說出口 其實你早就已經不愛我
為什麼要低著頭 你知道這玩笑騙不倒我
可是這不是玩笑 是要逃避你離開我的理由
＊我還能做甚麼 你已經不愛我
我一直都愛著你難道這還不夠
我還要做甚麼 你才不離開我
我知道你已無心再繼續看著我
一心想離開我
我終於也說出口 其實很愛你但從沒認真說過
或許是我的錯 多在乎你卻只放在心中
不要問我為甚麼 因為愛你這就是我的理由
我還能做甚麼 你已經不愛我
我一直都愛著你難道這還不夠
我還要做甚麼 你才不離開我
我知道你已無心再繼續看著我
沒什麼需要被原諒 我笑的有些牽強
你知道我總是能夠假裝不難過
oh不想看你那麼累 多希望再給我機會
顫抖著我的手 握住的只是風
詞：宋念宇 黃文萱 曲：宋念宇 編曲：宋念宇 製作：陳偉
你終於說出口 其實你早就已經不愛我
為什麼要低著頭 你知道這玩笑騙不倒我
可是這不是玩笑 是要逃避你離開我的理由
＊我還能做甚麼 你已經不愛我
我一直都愛著你難道這還不夠
我還要做甚麼 你才不離開我
我知道你已無心再繼續看著我
一心想離開我
我終於也說出口 其實很愛你但從沒認真說過
或許是我的錯 多在乎你卻只放在心中
不要問我為甚麼 因為愛你這就是我的理由
我還能做甚麼 你已經不愛我
我一直都愛著你難道這還不夠
我還要做甚麼 你才不離開我
我知道你已無心再繼續看著我
沒什麼需要被原諒 我笑的有些牽強
你知道我總是能夠假裝不難過
oh不想看你那麼累 多希望再給我機會
顫抖著我的手 握住的只是風
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Inner self(Bad): Jing Xian, Jing Xian, you are a dumb ass. Still want to ask your friend is it good if you buy a message lolly with a bear on it for her. Really!! You are stupid. How much you try to cover or repay, it is done for. You are nothing to her but just memories. If you continue to do that, you will get yourself into trouble. You will really lose a friend.
Inner Self(Good): Jing Xian, you are not trying to forget her. You are pushing your luck. You still think that you have a high chance of getting her back. Trying to plan a way to win her heart back. Do you know how much people around you are worry of you? Stop trying to do things like this. You don't stand a chance anymore. Seriously, please turn around and walk. Nothing behind you is sweet.
Myself: The both of you know me the best. You know what am i thinking. You speak the true but I just want to try. I actually want to post something like "I think you are really made for me". In the end, I didn't when I found out that thing. I cannot suppress myself of not thinking and stalking at her. I know true is painful. I still cannot accept it. I promise to move on. Things around me trying to tell me not to let go even it takes me to lose other important things.
Inner Self(Bad): So now, do you think you are moving on? You come out with a lot of logic to hide your own thinking and plans. You know why? Because you know it will never come true. Drop the hope of winning her heart back, stop thinking she will go out with you alone and stop trying to do anything for her. HEY!! What with the watery eye? You told me you will stop crying since then.
Inner Self(Good): She already told you that she already give up on the previous relationship, how you treat her and all. She won't go out with you as she don't want you to give you wrong idea. She trying to live her life to the fullest without you around. No matter how free she is, she won't ask if you are free to go out with her. You will never be first on her mind anymore. Anything you give her, she will just treat it as a memories. No other meaning to it. You know she will read the blog and you really try to say something on how you feel and think she will comfort you in some way. Jing Xian, You are wrong!!! You will be a burden to her in the near future. She will treat you as a pest. Step out of it.
Myself: Just let me do what I want. I am a lost sheep now.
Inner Self(Good): Jing Xian, you are not trying to forget her. You are pushing your luck. You still think that you have a high chance of getting her back. Trying to plan a way to win her heart back. Do you know how much people around you are worry of you? Stop trying to do things like this. You don't stand a chance anymore. Seriously, please turn around and walk. Nothing behind you is sweet.
Myself: The both of you know me the best. You know what am i thinking. You speak the true but I just want to try. I actually want to post something like "I think you are really made for me". In the end, I didn't when I found out that thing. I cannot suppress myself of not thinking and stalking at her. I know true is painful. I still cannot accept it. I promise to move on. Things around me trying to tell me not to let go even it takes me to lose other important things.
Inner Self(Bad): So now, do you think you are moving on? You come out with a lot of logic to hide your own thinking and plans. You know why? Because you know it will never come true. Drop the hope of winning her heart back, stop thinking she will go out with you alone and stop trying to do anything for her. HEY!! What with the watery eye? You told me you will stop crying since then.
Inner Self(Good): She already told you that she already give up on the previous relationship, how you treat her and all. She won't go out with you as she don't want you to give you wrong idea. She trying to live her life to the fullest without you around. No matter how free she is, she won't ask if you are free to go out with her. You will never be first on her mind anymore. Anything you give her, she will just treat it as a memories. No other meaning to it. You know she will read the blog and you really try to say something on how you feel and think she will comfort you in some way. Jing Xian, You are wrong!!! You will be a burden to her in the near future. She will treat you as a pest. Step out of it.
Myself: Just let me do what I want. I am a lost sheep now.
Wednesday, March 09, 2011
Watching Channel 8. A talk show on relationship. Hmm....
Working in the morning. Came back home for dinner. Want to slack for awhile. Than things happen. First of all, "HE" complaining say that we went IKEA yesterday and never tell "HIM" the outcome. OK, so i went to ask my sister to show the things and tell him most of our thinkning. I just don't know how to explain to "HIM" or get "HIM" to understand our thought. OK, never mind.
Then, the bed suddenly just fall apart. I went to save the day. I got complain by "HIM"!! Asking this and that. I replied "HIM" and "HE" reply, "nowaday, no one want to listen to me anymore, I better don't talk." WTF!!!!!!!
Seriously don't know what is "HE" thinking. I want to throw most of the stuff that is useless in my house, I scare he will scold me. For example, who using carbon paper now? He said, "I use money buy de, you people never use, I got use." I throw what, "HE" will pick up back. So, what is the point of cleaning the house?
I start thinking of all things again. About you!! When I was watching the drama series on channel 8 at 7pm, I start to think about you. Jialing keep her mind firm while the mother trying to break Mingcheng and her up. Mingcheng's mother don't want Jialing to be marry into their family. Jialing trying to get Mingcheng out of her mind and leave the place but Mingcheng use his true love to get Jialing back to her. Now they are back but the mother still trying to break them up. I actually picture us having a family before....haiz!!! Life is fair to everyone. Whatever you miss or lose, there will alway be something good that replace the bad portion. In my life, they choose to replace you. That's why I find it unfair.
Today her brother birthday. I never celebrate with him this year. Never mind, I already wishes him. Guys..........blog is a things that helps other to know what you are doing recently. OMG!!! Now even 9pm show also talking about this. 8 years of relationship, cannot just forget about it. I cannot just let go. I will wait for you!!! Haiz....
Working in the morning. Came back home for dinner. Want to slack for awhile. Than things happen. First of all, "HE" complaining say that we went IKEA yesterday and never tell "HIM" the outcome. OK, so i went to ask my sister to show the things and tell him most of our thinkning. I just don't know how to explain to "HIM" or get "HIM" to understand our thought. OK, never mind.
Then, the bed suddenly just fall apart. I went to save the day. I got complain by "HIM"!! Asking this and that. I replied "HIM" and "HE" reply, "nowaday, no one want to listen to me anymore, I better don't talk." WTF!!!!!!!
Seriously don't know what is "HE" thinking. I want to throw most of the stuff that is useless in my house, I scare he will scold me. For example, who using carbon paper now? He said, "I use money buy de, you people never use, I got use." I throw what, "HE" will pick up back. So, what is the point of cleaning the house?
I start thinking of all things again. About you!! When I was watching the drama series on channel 8 at 7pm, I start to think about you. Jialing keep her mind firm while the mother trying to break Mingcheng and her up. Mingcheng's mother don't want Jialing to be marry into their family. Jialing trying to get Mingcheng out of her mind and leave the place but Mingcheng use his true love to get Jialing back to her. Now they are back but the mother still trying to break them up. I actually picture us having a family before....haiz!!! Life is fair to everyone. Whatever you miss or lose, there will alway be something good that replace the bad portion. In my life, they choose to replace you. That's why I find it unfair.
Today her brother birthday. I never celebrate with him this year. Never mind, I already wishes him. Guys..........blog is a things that helps other to know what you are doing recently. OMG!!! Now even 9pm show also talking about this. 8 years of relationship, cannot just forget about it. I cannot just let go. I will wait for you!!! Haiz....
Look at the time now!! Is so late and I still working on the proposal. Hmm...she today didn't reply me on facebook. Busy? I think I running out of ideas on topic to chat with you. I know, sooner or later, we will stop talking to each other. Never mind, I try my best to think of something to irritate you.
Went IKEA today, I mean yesterday. TO check on the cupboard, bed frame and all. Gonna buy new ones for the room. I planned for the layout of the room, most of them reject my idea BUT I think in the end still will follow my plan.
Before going shopping in IKEA, went to eat at the canteen. Recalled that day we have a little fight on food. Missing your angry face, don't want to talk to me!! Hmm.....let it be ba. I don't know why I so happy about recalling the memories. I not emotional that much but something there is stablizing my heart. I can't explain the feeling. You having the same feeling as me? I still not used to be alone. Come back to me? HAHAHA!!!!
Went IKEA today, I mean yesterday. TO check on the cupboard, bed frame and all. Gonna buy new ones for the room. I planned for the layout of the room, most of them reject my idea BUT I think in the end still will follow my plan.
Before going shopping in IKEA, went to eat at the canteen. Recalled that day we have a little fight on food. Missing your angry face, don't want to talk to me!! Hmm.....let it be ba. I don't know why I so happy about recalling the memories. I not emotional that much but something there is stablizing my heart. I can't explain the feeling. You having the same feeling as me? I still not used to be alone. Come back to me? HAHAHA!!!!
Monday, March 07, 2011
Having slight headache now. Pack my room for my sister wedding. Also pack her stuff and seal it up. Will it be a happy occassion when I open it? Wrote a letter for the future me when I open it. I may lose my memories but that will help me remember her. Now my cupboard is empty. Empty with everything. Looking forward to my sister wedding. After the wedding will be May and I can meet her for outing!!!!
Sunday, March 06, 2011
Was busy since yesterday. Went Pulau Ubin for activity. Get my too tire to reply or talk to anyone. Actually fall asleep on the sofa at about 9 plus. Wake up at 11 plus. Ate "nasi lemak" for brunch, and start planning the layout for the bedroom. Next week going to pack everything and re-arrange the bedroom. Took the whole afternoon thinking of the layout and her. Watch some TV and the same time, than the drama also show some love love problem. Than start smsing her. At about evening time, finally complete the planning and show mother and sister. They rejected because of the placing. Need to go IKEA or COURTS to check the new cupboard that we going to get for the room.
Next week quite busy. Monday got another meeting, Tuesday got parade, Wednesday to Friday got work. Satursday got to pack the room and Sunday got to pack the store room.I don't know got time to go for a jog during next week anot but going to give myself time for the jog. No excuse haha!!!! OK NOT FUNNY!!
Next week quite busy. Monday got another meeting, Tuesday got parade, Wednesday to Friday got work. Satursday got to pack the room and Sunday got to pack the store room.I don't know got time to go for a jog during next week anot but going to give myself time for the jog. No excuse haha!!!! OK NOT FUNNY!!
Saturday, March 05, 2011
hmm.....I totally forgot what i going to post today. Than I think I talk about what I did today. For my favourite one and only reader. Wake up quite early, to eat my "Kuek Chap". Was watching some animation before I go out for meeting at whitesand. Download some songs at the same time. Elva de!! haha!!
Yah as usual, late for the meeting. I need to take cab there too. When I reach, I still tell them, I don't like to wait for people. Haha!! got punishment from them by buying food for them at Mac. Talking about the Camp in july.
When we finish, decide to go for mahjong. Didn't play at all cos not enough people. That why I sms you say will send you home after your work. I actually wanted to repay what I owe you. Something like make it up la and I got a bad thinking today. I just to hug you from the back. Haha!! Never do hor!!! I asked you out is actually want to walk to the beach awhile. You rejected me!! *SOP* *SOP*
Will find time for you when you want to meet me. I doubt you will date me la but its ok. Send you home again after my sister wedding. Or if I am around Pasir Ris, won't purposely from tampines go pasir ris to send you home.
That's all!! My schedule, for the next few month. March, Camp and packing my house. April, Pack my house and their house and prepare for the wedding. May start school with some quiz. June, quiz. July, Camp and term test and holiday. Aug, ur birthday!! will date you out. Bring you to Hotel eat. You and me only. Must wear dress and makeup!! Sept, my birthday bring me to casino!! main exam and holiday. oct, holiday. Nov, school start. Dec, quiz!!! bz hor!!! haha!! no matter when is it, u ask me out, I will go de. U need to destress sometime. I book you here. On 2nd april, I date you. Is like a month time. try not to reject me. ok?? reply to facebook!!!
Yah as usual, late for the meeting. I need to take cab there too. When I reach, I still tell them, I don't like to wait for people. Haha!! got punishment from them by buying food for them at Mac. Talking about the Camp in july.
When we finish, decide to go for mahjong. Didn't play at all cos not enough people. That why I sms you say will send you home after your work. I actually wanted to repay what I owe you. Something like make it up la and I got a bad thinking today. I just to hug you from the back. Haha!! Never do hor!!! I asked you out is actually want to walk to the beach awhile. You rejected me!! *SOP* *SOP*
Will find time for you when you want to meet me. I doubt you will date me la but its ok. Send you home again after my sister wedding. Or if I am around Pasir Ris, won't purposely from tampines go pasir ris to send you home.
That's all!! My schedule, for the next few month. March, Camp and packing my house. April, Pack my house and their house and prepare for the wedding. May start school with some quiz. June, quiz. July, Camp and term test and holiday. Aug, ur birthday!! will date you out. Bring you to Hotel eat. You and me only. Must wear dress and makeup!! Sept, my birthday bring me to casino!! main exam and holiday. oct, holiday. Nov, school start. Dec, quiz!!! bz hor!!! haha!! no matter when is it, u ask me out, I will go de. U need to destress sometime. I book you here. On 2nd april, I date you. Is like a month time. try not to reject me. ok?? reply to facebook!!!
Thursday, March 03, 2011
我不需要任何回报。不吻你，不抱你，只要认我陪伴你，认我能看到你的笑容，我就满足了。
The time is going to be over. How's your day today? Think will be a happy one since is a day that I won't scold you. Saw your facebook smiling happily with your friends. Felt happy for you. Erh, we are not together but I wish you happy "by right" 4th anniversary.
It's been a lonely day for me. Went out with 2 guys for today. How I wish you are there, receiving your sms saying happy anniversary, eating something with you, complaining to me about me, stopping me from ordering too much food, complaining I am fat. Miss kissing you and saying I love you. Miss you really really alot.
Today I suffer alot. Trying to control not to sms you. Scare you got stress up again due to me. I still wondering how you can just drop the thinking? I still haven't pack your stuff in a corner. Oh my, rain come again. I promise I will pack everything away. Please stop asking me not to think too much. We been through too many things. I just can't open my finger and let it drop. My army, my down period, the restricted, the everything. Go anywhere also will think on what we did at the same place. I just can't lift the stone in me. I just can't stop crying now. I been too impatient, missing out too many small detail of you. I am sorry!! I can't do anything now. I don't know what I want now. I told calvin that your friend want to introduce boyfriend to you. He replied: "Jing Xian, just let go. The friend don't respect you at all. They are not supporting you, why do you have to keep thinking?"
Do anyone know how I feel when calvin told me this? Or does anyone know how I feel now? It is different on how you feel previously. You got support from friends asking you not to think, I got friend that ask me to think. I want to stop the pain, the sorrow. I don't know what to do. I feel so lost. Don't tell me time will heal. I don't want to hear that. I know I am being stubborn. Nothing I can do and I also don't know what I can do to make me feel easy. I want to stop everything about you but when I recalled that day you accept my card from kopitam, I cannot stop thinking. I think I getting the wrong idea from you. I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WANT!!
The time is going to be over. How's your day today? Think will be a happy one since is a day that I won't scold you. Saw your facebook smiling happily with your friends. Felt happy for you. Erh, we are not together but I wish you happy "by right" 4th anniversary.
It's been a lonely day for me. Went out with 2 guys for today. How I wish you are there, receiving your sms saying happy anniversary, eating something with you, complaining to me about me, stopping me from ordering too much food, complaining I am fat. Miss kissing you and saying I love you. Miss you really really alot.
Today I suffer alot. Trying to control not to sms you. Scare you got stress up again due to me. I still wondering how you can just drop the thinking? I still haven't pack your stuff in a corner. Oh my, rain come again. I promise I will pack everything away. Please stop asking me not to think too much. We been through too many things. I just can't open my finger and let it drop. My army, my down period, the restricted, the everything. Go anywhere also will think on what we did at the same place. I just can't lift the stone in me. I just can't stop crying now. I been too impatient, missing out too many small detail of you. I am sorry!! I can't do anything now. I don't know what I want now. I told calvin that your friend want to introduce boyfriend to you. He replied: "Jing Xian, just let go. The friend don't respect you at all. They are not supporting you, why do you have to keep thinking?"
Do anyone know how I feel when calvin told me this? Or does anyone know how I feel now? It is different on how you feel previously. You got support from friends asking you not to think, I got friend that ask me to think. I want to stop the pain, the sorrow. I don't know what to do. I feel so lost. Don't tell me time will heal. I don't want to hear that. I know I am being stubborn. Nothing I can do and I also don't know what I can do to make me feel easy. I want to stop everything about you but when I recalled that day you accept my card from kopitam, I cannot stop thinking. I think I getting the wrong idea from you. I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WANT!!
Today....nvm
After today paper, went out with jenn, cal, sel. We went to Soeul Garden for celebration and they talk about me. Complaining this and that about me being emotional. I can't do anything to control myself.
Been in Soeul Garden for about 2 hours. After eating, we went to arcade. Play some stupid game. After playing, decided to go for bowling. I didn't expect myself to get such a low score.
Now at home, thinking of why am I at home. Why can't I just call her to talk to her. She asked me do not think so much. To her will still be a special day. If is a special day, why are we like that? I cannot stop thinking. The mark of 4 years. THE MARK OF 4 YEARS!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This place is the only place I can let everything out. Don't feel pity of me, I do not stand that high price for you.
The drama in channel 8 talk so much about what I feeling now. There a sentence Jialing said: "因为爱，就放手。" There is another drama in the afternoon, the song sing this: "因为有你，我才相信爱情。" Yah, I being TOO emotional liao. Yes, I won't think too much!! I not blaming you, blaming myself of not treating you well when I have a chance. Didn't give myself enough time to show you how much I love you, how much I care for you, how much I want you to irritate me. It's all over, just today only, emotional abit more. A few more hours, will strike 12. It will be all over. OVER!! How I wish you will call me...
After today paper, went out with jenn, cal, sel. We went to Soeul Garden for celebration and they talk about me. Complaining this and that about me being emotional. I can't do anything to control myself.
Been in Soeul Garden for about 2 hours. After eating, we went to arcade. Play some stupid game. After playing, decided to go for bowling. I didn't expect myself to get such a low score.
Now at home, thinking of why am I at home. Why can't I just call her to talk to her. She asked me do not think so much. To her will still be a special day. If is a special day, why are we like that? I cannot stop thinking. The mark of 4 years. THE MARK OF 4 YEARS!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This place is the only place I can let everything out. Don't feel pity of me, I do not stand that high price for you.
The drama in channel 8 talk so much about what I feeling now. There a sentence Jialing said: "因为爱，就放手。" There is another drama in the afternoon, the song sing this: "因为有你，我才相信爱情。" Yah, I being TOO emotional liao. Yes, I won't think too much!! I not blaming you, blaming myself of not treating you well when I have a chance. Didn't give myself enough time to show you how much I love you, how much I care for you, how much I want you to irritate me. It's all over, just today only, emotional abit more. A few more hours, will strike 12. It will be all over. OVER!! How I wish you will call me...
Wednesday, March 02, 2011
Yah is another second post. While studying, I fall asleep. Slept for awhile and I continue studying for tomorrow paper. Halfway studying, feel like listening to her voice. Haiz!! How can I forget when tomorrow is the day. The day of the start of sweet memories. The more I think, the more I cannot take it. It been awhile I cried. Think tonight going to cry again. My heart weight so heavily now.
I already plan something for myself tomorrow. Trying to avoid thinking about the date. Got my classmate to join me for Soeul Garden after paper, meeting with NPCC about proposal, thought of going clubbing tomorrow with Calvin. Just don't feel like being alone for tomorrow. It will be better if tomorrow I can get myself drunk.
FUCK!!! I am thinking, what if my future friend girlfriend is her, how will I react? Haiz....Damn depress now. I will just let it be. Later when the clock strike 12, I will need to suffer for 24hrs till the day end.
Love you!! Think I will try not to contact you tomorrow, so I won't stress you up.
I already plan something for myself tomorrow. Trying to avoid thinking about the date. Got my classmate to join me for Soeul Garden after paper, meeting with NPCC about proposal, thought of going clubbing tomorrow with Calvin. Just don't feel like being alone for tomorrow. It will be better if tomorrow I can get myself drunk.
FUCK!!! I am thinking, what if my future friend girlfriend is her, how will I react? Haiz....Damn depress now. I will just let it be. Later when the clock strike 12, I will need to suffer for 24hrs till the day end.
Love you!! Think I will try not to contact you tomorrow, so I won't stress you up.
不是因为你不爱我，只是我们不能在一起了。Using this phrase, will make me feel better but still, haiz.....
Today was smoking and waiting for bus. Listening to my PSP songs while waiting too. Realise that there is a song in my PSP is singing about my situation <<明天以后>>. Starting thinking of her when i hear that song. That song remind me alot of things that she have done for me.
Yesterday check out from company's chalet. Been abit emotional during the chalet. Normally, when i get to overnight outside, she will call me late in the night to talk. keep me accompany. She know that I won't sleep early if i get to overnight outside. Every time when i overnight outside, I like to sit outside where there is no roof. Every time hope that I can watch the sky with her. Every time will just talk with her while I am watching the stars or the sky. Every time...............
Tomorrow there is another paper, not going to think liao. It will just make me sad. There will be no more chance!! Hmm...........I won't let go.
Today was smoking and waiting for bus. Listening to my PSP songs while waiting too. Realise that there is a song in my PSP is singing about my situation <<明天以后>>. Starting thinking of her when i hear that song. That song remind me alot of things that she have done for me.
Yesterday check out from company's chalet. Been abit emotional during the chalet. Normally, when i get to overnight outside, she will call me late in the night to talk. keep me accompany. She know that I won't sleep early if i get to overnight outside. Every time when i overnight outside, I like to sit outside where there is no roof. Every time hope that I can watch the sky with her. Every time will just talk with her while I am watching the stars or the sky. Every time...............
Tomorrow there is another paper, not going to think liao. It will just make me sad. There will be no more chance!! Hmm...........I won't let go.
Tuesday, March 01, 2011
I felt so irritated. When I finish my paper today, everythings start coming to me. I am very tire due to yesterday chalet. I just want to peacefully past today with tireness mood. My plan don't suit me today.
Once I finish my paper, I got 5 sms on my phone. I slowly reply everyone of them. Then, one irritating person, just don't understand what I want to tell her. YES!! IS A HER!! I told her, either I call you, or you meet me. She reply, I prefer receive sms. She just don't understand. Sending sms don't relate everything. I keep stressing that I want to call her, she insist of receiving sms.
Than someone else sms me, telling me this and that. My brother until now haven't come back. I got a government letter, my father also ask me this and that. I cannot control and shouted back: " Why there is so many qns? Stop asking cannot." Than of cos, war started. HE DON'T WANT TO TALK TO ME!! FINE!!!
Finally my brother sms me. Saying his teacher last min ask them to stay to study. So where have you been till now? And y didn't call back when u have the time? U r saying that the lecturer nv give u ppl break? I asked her either ask the lecturer to cal me or he come home now. My mother wanted to go down to search for him. WTF!!!!! STOP PAMPERING HIM!!! HE GO ARMY, HE WILL DIE!!!!
I on fire now, I want to find her talk to calm myself but she is busy with school work. I need you as my extinguisher. NVM!! Just vent all my anger somewhere. Whoever come step on my tail, I WILL ERUPT!!!
Once I finish my paper, I got 5 sms on my phone. I slowly reply everyone of them. Then, one irritating person, just don't understand what I want to tell her. YES!! IS A HER!! I told her, either I call you, or you meet me. She reply, I prefer receive sms. She just don't understand. Sending sms don't relate everything. I keep stressing that I want to call her, she insist of receiving sms.
Than someone else sms me, telling me this and that. My brother until now haven't come back. I got a government letter, my father also ask me this and that. I cannot control and shouted back: " Why there is so many qns? Stop asking cannot." Than of cos, war started. HE DON'T WANT TO TALK TO ME!! FINE!!!
Finally my brother sms me. Saying his teacher last min ask them to stay to study. So where have you been till now? And y didn't call back when u have the time? U r saying that the lecturer nv give u ppl break? I asked her either ask the lecturer to cal me or he come home now. My mother wanted to go down to search for him. WTF!!!!! STOP PAMPERING HIM!!! HE GO ARMY, HE WILL DIE!!!!
I on fire now, I want to find her talk to calm myself but she is busy with school work. I need you as my extinguisher. NVM!! Just vent all my anger somewhere. Whoever come step on my tail, I WILL ERUPT!!!
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