我不需要任何回报。不吻你，不抱你，只要认我陪伴你，认我能看到你的笑容，我就满足了。

The time is going to be over. How's your day today? Think will be a happy one since is a day that I won't scold you. Saw your facebook smiling happily with your friends. Felt happy for you. Erh, we are not together but I wish you happy "by right" 4th anniversary.

It's been a lonely day for me. Went out with 2 guys for today. How I wish you are there, receiving your sms saying happy anniversary, eating something with you, complaining to me about me, stopping me from ordering too much food, complaining I am fat. Miss kissing you and saying I love you. Miss you really really alot.

Today I suffer alot. Trying to control not to sms you. Scare you got stress up again due to me. I still wondering how you can just drop the thinking? I still haven't pack your stuff in a corner. Oh my, rain come again. I promise I will pack everything away. Please stop asking me not to think too much. We been through too many things. I just can't open my finger and let it drop. My army, my down period, the restricted, the everything. Go anywhere also will think on what we did at the same place. I just can't lift the stone in me. I just can't stop crying now. I been too impatient, missing out too many small detail of you. I am sorry!! I can't do anything now. I don't know what I want now. I told calvin that your friend want to introduce boyfriend to you. He replied: "Jing Xian, just let go. The friend don't respect you at all. They are not supporting you, why do you have to keep thinking?"

Do anyone know how I feel when calvin told me this? Or does anyone know how I feel now? It is different on how you feel previously. You got support from friends asking you not to think, I got friend that ask me to think. I want to stop the pain, the sorrow. I don't know what to do. I feel so lost. Don't tell me time will heal. I don't want to hear that. I know I am being stubborn. Nothing I can do and I also don't know what I can do to make me feel easy. I want to stop everything about you but when I recalled that day you accept my card from kopitam, I cannot stop thinking. I think I getting the wrong idea from you. I DON'T KNOW WHAT I WANT!!